since I finally found the tape measurer after who knows how long. I am so fucking disappointed. I knew I was bigger than last year. BUT GEEZUS. And now my mom wants me to take it slow because my back locked the other day.
I hate that my body is limited. I never had to worry about that before 2007 (I was in a car crash. Car hit the passenger side and my arm was on the arm rest, sending the jolt to my lower back.) and even though I was bigger than everybody else, I was just AS athletic as everyone or more. This probably sounds like gibberish. Maybe I should vent out in a longer post, but I don’t want to waste time on that.
The thing is, I don’t want to lose weight fast to look good (although that is a huge bonus), I am HONESTLY worried about my health and mental well-being. The strain on my back is horrendous, the deep depression I finally pulled myself out of is creeping back, I can’t walk as easy because of my back, sleeping is something I’ll dread at times, and I want to cut off all ties with the world and just stay home like a hermit. BUT I DON’T WANT TO. I want to feel better about myself. I want to be able to sleeping comfortably, walk fast as I naturally do, sit/lay on the floor, stand for longer periods of time, stop mentally criticizing myself with anything I do.
I know there are people worse off than me, but my back is a huge disabler. I wish I wasn’t broke. I want to go to a chiropractor so bad.
Forgot to put this on the 14th. Had fun until my back locked when i was laying down to rest. ugh.
Just thought I’d put a recent “nice” picture.
You can say yesterday was quite…. eventful. Kat and Dani played tennis with me again and we did WAY more in a little more than an hour than the other day. We were beat because we are already playing better.
Though I didn’t let out all my frustration, not until later on that night. Feels good to tell someone off that had it a long time coming. Guys and gals, don’t cheat on your pregnant girlfriends. I hate assholes. That is all.
Totally forgot to update what I did yesterday. So instead of walking D and Kat joined me to play tennis for over an hour and a half. I definitely felt more affected last night.
I tried runkeeper to see if it could track how much we ran around. Does 3 miles seem about right? The map looks off but it felt like 3 miles. Lol.
Today, I decided to rest. I couldn’t move thanks to my sore legs (and horrible couch I sleep on). But I’ll start again tomorrow. Gotta catch up on schoolwork anyways.
I’M DOWN 5 LBS SINCE LAST WEDNESDAY.
May 1st: 322.2 lbs
May 8th: 317.2 lbs
This scale ain’t lying to me, and I’ve been getting my ass up everyday to workout.
This morning, I didn’t go walking since we had trouble with my grandpa. But I’m going to “dance” right now and then go play tennis and walk later on today with D :3 Woooooooooo!
Played 3 rounds of tennis today. First at 6:50AM with D. Then 2 rounds with Kat and D at 7:30 PM. We also climbed around the huge new jungle gym. Eesh. I don’t know how the children do it nowadays o.o
I went and picked up my friend, D, then went to play some tennis before she had to get ready for work. I think we’re gonna go later on today to get more time in. 30 minutes down. I’d like to do an hour more :D
Again :D walked/jogged with Katherine today :3 I like having the company… Even when they hop away like a friggin’ goat >.>