well, i don’t know. “work” and school and anxiety and life? haha. I’ll be back on soon. Trying to sort out everything just to make it to June.
We’re allowed to be vain every once in a while, right?
Not too shabby considering everything going on and bad eating.
I’m trying to research stuff to start getting healthy again. To feel better. To feel… SOMETHING. The more I read, the more pissed off I get.
Everything that is wrong with me is because of one thing… PCOS.
I’ve never been skinny or even average. I was thicker than everyone, but I was athletic and fast for my size. I could walk forever and quick, too. My eating habits were not great and slightly bigger than the average person, but never to the extent I’m at now.
I have gained so much weight that I’m afraid I’ll never recover from it (I know it’s possible, but it’s a pretty daunting number to see on the scale). If all I had to think about was my weight and portion control, maybe I wouldn’t be so mad. It’s the sheer amount of impact it has taken on the rest of my body and mind.
Weight gain, "Dirty Skin", skin tags, skin discoloration, acne, oily skin, anxiety, depression, thinned out hair, dandruff, Excessive body and facial hair, abnormal menstrual cycles, increased appetite and cravings, hearing affected, sweating (stinkier than most), sleep apnea,and increased libido (not a problem usually, unless your body is basically making you more “unattractive”).
We’re not even gonna go into the future problems (such as increased cancer risks) or the infertility side of this condition mainly because I’m not currently trying to conceive (but I want to in the future).
That’s all I could think of off the top of my head. When I look in the mirror nowadays, I don’t even recognize myself. My face has changed so much; my body shape isn’t remotely close to what it was before. I don’t want you think I’m putting all the blame on PCOS, of course I am responsible for part of this.
I just wish I could find what works for me without having to wait months or even years for the “right combination” of medicines, herbs, vitamins, and diets. I don’t have that kind of money; I can barely go grocery shopping.
This was longer than I was expecting to type, but I needed to vent a little bit. If anyone has any advice for treating PCOS, by all means you are welcome to give your two cents.
I don’t need exercise or portion control tips as I know what to do, just haven’t implemented it yet. I’ll continue searching for articles and kicking myself for wasting so much time and letting myself go. I hope now that I have more time to pay attention to myself I can learn to live again.
That’s basically why I haven’t been on. He was essentially my dad and I was super close to him. I was with him to the very last heartbeat. I can’t say when I’ll be back on, but in between moving, funeral things, and school… well probably not for another week. Hope you all are doing well and I will be back soon.
This bitch is doing a presentation on obesity in my business class (had nothing to do with our current lessons). She dared to keep staring at me while explaining how to change habits and how people sleep all day or eat too much. This girl is no skinny minnie herself. There are other big people in my class, but I’m assuming I’m the biggest since she wouldn’t look at anyone else when talking about laziness.
Her presentation was so inaccurate and she was giving advice to one woman about weight loss surgery saying which is best (she’s going for medical office specialist. You don’t know her medical history! you think Clorox is hand sanitizer. stfu the woman has her doctor). Ughhhh. And because she was looking at me, several other classmates would look at me and they insisted all fat people(including those who had kids) are lazy and had no excuse
URGH. Sorry, they just pissed me off. They aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed and just hearing them was irritating me.
I think I’m going to do Ripped In 30 today. I would do it right now, but everyone is asleep and I know I’ll be huffing and puffing and wake them up. I am all stuffy and watery-eyed from being sick so I look all ↓
Ughhhhh. It’s taking everything in me to not insult myself right now. This is what I’m at currently. Accountability mannnn. I’m wearing my school polo and hopefully I’ll need to trade it in or something in a couple of months @_@
I’m planning/thinking up/writing out all my goals for this year. I almost felt like I was so behind, but we’re only 8 days into the year. :breathes:
I’ll also be uploading a recent pic of me so I have something to look back on. Been working on my “motivation wall” as well but tend to get distracted and forget. Ha. Ha. Waaaaaa.
I’ve gotta learn how to take of myself even when everything isn’t going as planned. 2014 is a big year for me and hopefully it’ll be amazing >:)
If you all could reblog my last post about my family I’d really appreciate it. This is the reason I haven’t been active as much on here. Thank you.